Every man is different, as are every set of eyes. How your man will respond to seeing the baby born from a front row seat is dependent on a few different variables. Should he view it, or should he stick by your loving smile? Here are four questions that will answer yours.
For the first question, it’s a simple matter of how good he is at holding his lunch. He is going to see a side to you he (a) didn’t know existed and (b) wished he didn’t know existed. He will see your hoo-haw stretched across the room and, quite possibly (though not necessarily), excrement making its way out, just underneath. The gross-out factor may take away from the joy of the moment, or he may be able to shrug off those feelings for the thrill of seeing his baby arrive into the world.
What does this have to do with your sex life? Two men were asked how they felt about viewing the birth of their child. One said it was the most wonderful thing he’d seen. The other man said he had a hard time having sex with his wife for a whole year after that.
Question three may just take care of the situation all together. Birth isn’t always how it is on TV (can you believe it?) In many cases, the man has a job to do, in addition to holding your hand and saying “breathe”. Oftentimes, the man will share the job of the nurse. Each of them will hold one of your legs as you push. Though he may be able to peek his head around to see the action, he may be too involved with being the leg-carrier to get to see the show.
And the final question to ponder is whether or not he wants to. Because of questions one and two, this should be his decision to make. And no matter what decision he makes, he just may change his mind at the last minute.
When it’s all said and done, no matter what he saw, he’ll think you’re a goddess… his beautiful, magnificent, heroic, kinda gross goddess.
As you draw closer to your due date, your caregivers might have asked if you have written or created a birth plan. A birth plan is a communication tool that is used by everyone involved with your labor and the birth of your baby. Your birth plan effectively puts everyone on the “same page” when it comes to you and your partner’s preferences regarding the different options available to you during the course of your labor, birth and even after-care of your baby.
Why write a birth plan? First, it allows you and your partner to get in sync with one another before your baby’s birth. Creating a plan will give you a chance to bring up any fears, strong desires, etc. that you may have not talked about up to this point. It also allows you to create a “team approach” with your caregivers. More than likely, different people involved with your labor, delivery and aftercare. As new caregivers join in to assist you, they will be able to know your preferences no matter what stage you are in.
Of course, a birth plan is not a set of orders to be followed, but it does give you reminders as to what is important in an ideal birth situation. To get started, make sure you and your partner have some time to talk about your ideal birth story. Read up on the subject and/or take a childbirth class with your partner so that you are aware of all options available to you. Once you have a rough-draft, schedule time to review your birth plan with your care provider. They can suggest any changes based on hospital guidelines, etc. When your final birth plan is complete, make sure that you have copies for yourself, additional support persons/doula and your caregiver. It is also helpful to pack an additional one in your hospital bag for the caregivers that will be attending to you.
A birth plan should include the following:
Your birth plan will be best received when it is kept short and sweet. Too much wording is hard for caregivers to read and discern what is truly important to you. Short and direct sentences or “bullet points” allow all of those involved to quickly reference your preferences at each step. Keep in mind that a birth plan are your wishes under normal birthing circumstances. Labor is unpredictable and the birth plan should not be a list of orders that restrict the caregiver’s ability to keep you and baby healthy.
Not sure where to get started? There are some great birth plan templates available on the web to choose from. Because they can get lengthy covering so much material, it is a good idea to print one out, make the selections you desire and then type those preferences to create your own birth plan.
One of the mommies featured in our Pea in the Podcast on VBACs is pregnant again! Yay! Kim’s story of her succesful vaginal birth after a c section is inspiring, and here’s hoping she has another successful VBAC.
If you’re interested in trying for a VBAC, the International Cesarean Awareness Network website is loaded with information for you, including a checklist that will get you started.
To be clear, if Kim has another c-section, that would not be the end of the world. I will be just as proud of her. Having a healthy baby is the most important thing, no matter how they’re delivered! Sometimes a c-section is necessary. That’s how my girl got here!
If you’re pregnant for the first time, VBAC is not one of the millions of things you will have to consider before your baby’s birthday. However, you may want to prepare yourself for the possibility that you might have a c-section, no matter what you’ve planned (I planned a peaceful natural childbirth, in dim room with soft music and liberal use of the birthing suite’s jacuzzi tub). To familiarize yourself with what would happen should you end up giving birth to your baby with the help of a surgeon, please check out our Pea in the Podcast on cesarean sections.