Life After Miscarriage: How does this story end?

It was November 14, 2009 when I took my last birth control pill. My husband and I decided that 2010 was the year we were going to have a baby. I went to the OB in December for my yearly well-woman visit and talked to my doctor about our plans to try to conceive. She wrote me a prescription for prenatal vitamins and said, “It takes most couples your age six to eight months of trying before the they are successful. Just have fun.”

We continued to use protection until January and in our first unprotected cycle were blessed enough to get pregnant. I was that woman: the one whom women who have been trying to conceive for years, want to punch in the uterus.

Here I am, a year later, a year after stopping my birth control pill, one unsuccessful pregnancy later wondering, “What the hell happened?”

I know I’m being a whiny little…ahem. I know there are women out there who want to punch me in my uterus and say “At least you were able to get pregnant once. That means you can do it again.” I know that I have no room to complain because we haven’t been actively and unsuccessfully trying for more than 12 consecutive months and therefore, I’m not technically infertile.

But I do wonder, what if my first pregnancy was my last pregnancy? How does this story end? Is it happily ever after as so many people try to reassure me? Or is it simply The End? How do I know if I’m on the last page of the last chapter or if I’m just in the middle of the book?

My mom is the kind of person who reads the end of the book before she reads the beginning. If the end is worth it, she’ll go back and read the rest. I wish I could skip ahead to the end of my story to see what kind of ending it has.

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4 Responses to “Life After Miscarriage: How does this story end?”

  1. Mandy Mandy Says:

    Just wanted to say “Thank You”. Thank you for writing words that I feel in my soul, but am unable to speak with my lips. Thank you for being my voice, one that I can send to my husband and say “See, here’s my feelings in black and white. Ones that you’ve tried so hard to understand, but that I have been unable to make comprehensible”. Your journal has opened many lines of communication in our relationship as we try to sift through each other’s “gray matter”. My blessings to you.

  2. Jenn Jenn Says:

    *ahem*. I sit and read this..and couldn’t agree more. In the same type of situation – possibly the same type of book, who knows. I suppose, we rest in knowing we are trying – we were successful once, at the ‘getting’ pregnant part and we aim for the next…hoping for a healthy pregnancy. Thinking of you – wishing & praying for the best.

  3. Heather Heather Says:

    I like to think that God is just handpicking us the perfect baby and that’s why its taking a little time. We learned lots from our past experiences, about our selves, our relationships, and what life’s all about and maybe now we are more ready than ever for a new little one. Hang in there girl!

    And if all else fails you might go and adopt a child. that seems to work like a charm for many infertile couples. No sooner are the adoption papers signed and poof the woman is miraculously pregnant with triplets or something crazy like that! hah! just teasing you… although it never hurts to have a back up plan!

  4. J J Says:

    I kept waiting for a new post! :) It will all work out for you- I am sure of that! Hang in there.

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