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Life After Micarriage: Cyst Be Gone

Tomorrow is the day! I decided to have the surgery to remove this thing growing on my ovary. In honor of tomorrow, I wrote the sucker a letter.

Dear cyst,

It’s time we parted ways. You’re a little too attached to me. I mean, you’ve grown to roughly three times the size of my ovary. You are basically the size of a large Grade A egg. I would keep you around but unfortunately, I’m not competing in a state fair for the largest organically grown product. Tomorrow, you will be surgically removed, and you are not invited back. Thanks for playing. –Emily

Ah yes. The size of an egg – at least that’s what my Google image search for 7cm revealed. I’m horrified and, morbidly curious. I mean – I can’t grow a baby but I can grow a fluid-filled globe the size of key lime? That got me thinking…

Anyone that’s familiar with literature on pregnancy knows about the comparison of embryos and fetuses to foods. So here are some other comparisons: a large date, a small tomato, a red potato, a large strawberry. See, it’s not just the pregnant women who get to have all the fun!

My husband wants me to bring it home in a jar. I tried to explain that the surgery doesn’t exactly work like that. Thanks to the wonders of science, it will actually be sucked out through my belly button. Well, maybe not my belly button but some small incision near there. Either way, it’s not going to remain intact enough to store in a jar and put on display.  And even if we could keep it in a jar, it wouldn’t match with our pillows and couch.

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4 Responses to “Life After Micarriage: Cyst Be Gone”

  1. Melissa Melissa Says:

    Best of luck for a speedy recovery today and in the next weeks!

  2. Heather Heather Says:

    ewww. husbands can be gross huh? prepares us for all the gross things our kids will do i guess. you must feel relieved to have made the decision to go ahead with the surgery. I’m thinking surgery will be the easy part. i had laproscopic (how do i spell that?) surgery to remove my appendix and it was a piece of cake. hope yours is too. you might feel mushy brained for a couple weeks after if they use general anesthesia, wanted to warn you of that. no one warned me and i thought i was going nuts. anyhow, good luck with this!prayers coming your way!

  3. Kim Kim Says:

    Definitely not a good idea, especially if you have pets.

  4. liz liz Says:

    lol my husband would totally want to see it. that’s super funny and kind of cute. how did it go? hoping you are feeling well. it’s too bad we have to fight with our bodies so much to get what we’re after…

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