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Life After Miscarriage: The First Period

It’s here! It’s here! It’s here! After a whopping 9.5 weeks, my period finally arrived. I haven’t been this thrilled about getting a period since I was 20 and forgot to use a back up method while I was on antibiotics (some antibiotics interfere with birth control pills).

Despite my best efforts to induce it weeks ago with parsley tea, red raspberry leaf tea, pomegranate juice, and a stint of wearing nothing but thongs, it took nine and half weeks.

I don’t think nine and a half weeks is average. From everything I read, and even from what my doctor said, four to six weeks is about average. Does that mean that I’m above average? Well, I’ve always tried to be a cut above the rest.

The minute Aunt Flo arrived, I texted my husband. “You might want to bring home a bottle of champagne. I finally got my period!” He was just as excited as I was though I think for different reasons. Getting my period meant that he didn’t have to make room in the refrigerator for the parsley bunches (parsley can supposedly bring on menstruation), or receive daily e-mail updates on possible signs of its impending arrival.

I think we both knew it was coming when I asked if it would be wrong to dip a spicy chicken wing in chocolate. Other than strange cravings and the worst breakout since I was about sixteen, I had no other warnings though and that’s what made the wait so frustrating.

Of course, now that it’s here there’s the little question of when we start trying again. One doctor told me to wait for three cycles and another told me to go for gold after one cycle. I guess the upside of waiting so long for a period was that we didn’t have to make any decisions about what we were going to do.

There’s a tremendous amount of energy that goes into thinking about these things. There’s logic on both sides of the coin. If we wait and I don’t conceive again right away, or worse, we have another miscarriage, I’m going to be angry that we waited. If we don’t wait, and I conceive, and we have another miscarriage, I’m going to be angry that we didn’t wait.

You’re probably thinking “Uh…isn’t it possible that you’ll conceive right away AND have a healthy full-term pregnancy?” Yes. It’s possible but so are the other scenarios.

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4 Responses to “Life After Miscarriage: The First Period”

  1. Jenn Jenn Says:

    I’m so excited for you! :) (As I sit, and wait and wait…and count days and wait for signs) It’s crazy the things that are exciting now, isn’t it? Best wishes on making the right decision for you now!

  2. Heather Heather Says:

    my dr. just told me wait 2 cycles so i guess you’ve got the whole gamut now! I too think it it a good thing it is taking us a while for our bodies to get back into the swing of things. gives us time to sort all the emotions out. I don’t want to have a rebound type relationship with pregnancy, the way some people do after a bad boyfriend break up!

  3. Jen Jen Says:

    Started first real cycle this morning after m/c at the end of July. Can’t TTC until after a procedure to remove a uterine septum. All of my friends are either expecting or just had their arrival. So many mixed emotions- positive and negative. I had been one of them…now I’m not. But at least my reason for reoccurring M/C over the last 9 years has been found and can be fixed. Won’t TTC until after holidays- but I will be a Mommy or expecting to be one with in a year

  4. Melissa Melissa Says:

    Thank you for your blog. My husband and I are working through grieving a miscarriage. It’s our second. We had one in December at 6 weeks, though I think that the pregnancy was over nearly as soon as it started. Two weeks ago we went for our second ultrasound at 8 1/2 weeks. We had seen the heartbeat at 6 weeks and my hormones had been rising nicely. But, sometime around 8 weeks the heartbeat stopped. I had a D&C two weeks ago this Thursday. My first follow up is on Friday.

    We’re doing okay, but I have moments that are incredibly difficult. So, I find myself google searching things like, “What to ask at my first follow up appointment” or “How long will it take for my basal temperature to drop after a D&C?”. I know that I’m not alone. Our reproductive endocrinologist wouldn’t have a thriving practice if we were the only couple having trouble conceiving.

    Still, it’s maddening because we have no proof that we can carry a healthy pregnancy. We’re still early in the process this time through. We haven’t discussed with our doctor how long we should wait. The pathology report won’t be available for another month possibly and I expect that I will be having more extensive blood work done.

    I like what you wrote about everything being a process in an earlier post. I have no idea when my period will arrive. It’s too early for me to be watching for it. Still, by the time it starts and we get test results back, I think that we’ll be ready again. I just hope that it doesn’t end up being 3 months.

    It is most difficult, like you said, not knowing what the outcome will be. Many people have multiple miscarriages and go on to have a healthy happy family. I’m in the same boat as you not expecting any other outcome. I’m quite skeptical regarding my own happy outcome. I know that I’ll get through this round of grief. I’m just not ready for more yet.

    I hope that you get your storybook ending. Thank you for sharing your journey.

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