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Life After Miscarriage: Getting Ready to Try Again

It’s day 3 without caffeine. I’m getting a head start on cutting out the two cups of coffee. I’d rather have withdrawal symptoms now than when I’m pregnant.

I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do differently next time. Cutting out all caffeine is one thing. There are too many conflicting studies out there. Some say that less than 200 milligrams of caffeine is fine. Others say that any caffeine at all causes in increased risk for miscarriage. I’d rather not take any chances.

I’ve also started to take my prenatal vitamins like I was taking my birth control: religiously, not at the same time every day, and with a swig of beer occasionally.

Next time I’m pregnant, I won’t take any baths. Maybe the bath water was too hot. And I won’t go to spinning class. Maybe my heart rate was too high at one point.

Looking at this list, I should probably just start on bed rest the second I test positive. I can’t be too careful can I?

I’ll probably always wonder if I did something to cause the miscarriage. How could I not? Sure, I’ve read all the literature and I’ve heard my doctor say it too: “Most miscarriages that occur before 12 weeks are the result of a chromosomal abnormality and cannot be prevented.” Blah. Blah. Blah.

It would be so much easier to deal with if I could just pinpoint the cause. I’d know not to do “it” again and I’d feel so much better about my sense of control. It would be so much better to hear the doctor say: “Yeah. It was the coffee. Don’t do that again.” Then I would know! And I could control it. But how the heck can I control a chromosomal abnormality?

This pregnancy thing is such a crap shoot. And frankly, with what I know now, I can’t believe there are so many people in the world.

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5 Responses to “Life After Miscarriage: Getting Ready to Try Again”

  1. Jenn Jenn Says:

    Ugh…I’m going to stop with caffeine now…you’ve stressed me out! :)

    I hope you are doing well..I guess it’s all about moderation right…Here’s me – pulling for you this month. Fingers crossed.


  2. Emily Emily Says:

    Hi Jenn– Oh! I didn’t intend to stress anyone out! I wasn’t sleeping after the miscarriage and so I was drinking 3-4 cups of coffee a day. I had no where to go but down with the caffeine consumption. The good news is, the headaches from withdrawl are gone — I do miss the taste so I’ll have a cup of decaf about once a week.

    Thanks for keeping those fingers crossed for us!

  3. Christen Christen Says:

    I suffered a miscarriage with my first pregnancy too, and had the same thoughts — but then I realized, that was ME trying to hold on to the blame. The miscarriage was not my fault. Sometimes bad things just happen and the only thing we can control is how we respond.
    My husband and I clung to each other — got another dog — cried (a LOT) and prayed (a LOT). I felt like God gave me comfort and peace. He helped me see that I could use my miscarriage and the struggle to get pregnancy again to reach out to others going through the same.
    Anyway… it’s not easy, but hang in there.

  4. Joanne Joanne Says:

    I was training for the marathon when I found out i was preggers. with the doctor’s okay, read everything about running while pregnant (even got the book, “running & pregnancy), measured heart beats, etc… but still I miscarried. I live everyday wondering if it was because I ran 3 miles super fast the week after i conceived. I’m so tired of my parents, in laws, best friends, non runners, and runners asking me, “do you think it’s because you ran?” I think I rather not know now.
    And I’ve stopped running all together. It’s hard to run a mile without thinking, “I may have miscarried because I did this…”

  5. Courtney Courtney Says:

    I am also planning on trying again now after my miscarriage a few months ago.. I currently have the due date of that pregnancy coming up and am finding it very hard to deal with, so I plan on waiting until after the original due date and then starting all over again praying ti wont happen again. I have a 2 year old son, and was very surprised when I got pregnant on baby #2, my boyfriend works away from home so he found out over the phone.. as well as finding out the loss over the phone.. not an easy thing to do! I miscarried at 16 weeks.. not a “normal” time to miscarry.. with no complications in my first pregnancy.. thoughts go through my head all the time was it me? I felt movement for about 2 weeks.. but then the day of finding the heartbeat came.. and a mothers worst fear.. we couldnt hear one. We didnt think much of it at the time, it happens, some babies are facing the wrong way to be able to hear it that early so I went home still thinking everything was ok, even tho I had felt the movement then for about a week hadnt felt anything.. I just still think it was something I did, maybe too much stress on me being home with my toddler by myself and being sick with pregnancy and everything else.. but who knows.. a few days after not hearing the heartbeat the bleeding started, not very much just a little, so i went to the doctors again, scheduled for a ultrasound for the next morning, I went back home to rest, but within a few hours I was back in the hospital, unfortunately at the one in my hometown which doesnt have any machines for checking anything about babies so I had to go on ambulance for an hour and a half to another hospital and by the time I got there there everything was after passing… so I didnt get any answers, I didnt get to find out what the sex could of been, the doctors didnt know why this had happened to me.. and sent me home still wondering to this day… :( Sorry for all your losses.. its the hardest thing to go through when you feel so close to the baby the day you find out your pregnant…

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